Secrets keep us sick
I sent a letter to my mum on Friday telling her everything about my eating disorder. Its been going on for almost a year and she knows nothing.
The letter will arrive tomorrow or the next day. My anxiety is nuts and i have broken out in a rash on my arms, legs, foot, neck and a bit on my face. Yay for emotional stress. Last time i got hives. Fingers crossed right.
Im terrified. I know that she is my mum and it will be ok. I know she loves me and i am not responsible for how she will feel (gotta remember that). But it is so scary telling someone, who means so much to you, that you have a horrible secret. Its hard to break out of everything being a secret. But its just another step to recovery.
Secrets keep us sick.
"It takes courage. It takes courage to feel our pain and face the unfamiliar. It also take courage to live in a society that mistakenly values restraint, where we risk the rejection of others by being open or different."
- From my lecture slide in class today
